


The Silence After the Shot

by Cherry101



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Future Fic, I promise you'll like the original characters, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Reincarnation AU, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-03 05:34:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10237001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry101/pseuds/Cherry101
Summary: Five years after an event that traumatized both Viktor and Yuuri's life, the two are happily married, settled down in St. Petersburg with coaching and choreographing jobs.They aren't expecting the past to haunt them in the most unusual of ways, in the form of a four year old child with an enthusiastic mannerism and painfully familiar eyes.





	1. First Shot

**Author's Note:**

> My first chapter fic for Yuri on Ice! I'm excited.
> 
> For those who have read my other works, you probably know I'm a sucker for angst. Fear not, though! The fluff shall come! 
> 
> My updates will be a bit sporadic, as I live in a house without internet *cries* and therefore I have limited access to it. I'll do my best though! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

The 2017 Cup of China event changed Viktor and Yuuri's life. 

Despite it happening five years earlier, Viktor could still remember the details of that night, during the free skate, when everything changed.

He could remember blood staining the ice.

No.

He needed to forget.

Which was why he strolled down the streets of St. Petersburg, absent-mindedly humming the tune of a song he really didn't want to remember.

Yuuri had sent him out to get groceries. Groceries, of all things. Typically, that was the Japanese’s job, but he had woken that morning in a cold sweat, dreams provoking yet another panic attack induced by that night. 

Viktor hated it, but, if he were to face the truth, it was that Yuuri walked away from it all much more impacted than Viktor. 

Viktor hadn't even been scheduled to skate that day. No, it was Yuuri's time to shine. As it was, Yuuri never even got to go out on the ice - to skate, at least.

“Yuuri, the ambulance are here!”

“No… it's too late… Vitya, it's too late.”

Viktor shook his head. 

He really needed to forget. For Yuuri's sake.

He stepped into the grocery store, still lightly humming the music he hadn't forgotten, despite last hearing it five forsaken years ago. 

He picked out the items in a haze, reading off of a list that Yuuri had so kindly made the previous day. The sight of the neat, handwritten Japanese words brought a small amount of comfort to him.

Still, Viktor kept a smile on his face. He needed to be strong. 

For Yuuri.

For Yuri.

He was so out of it, he almost didn't notice the clearly sick woman in front of him until her voice raised, pleading with the cashier.

“Please, sir, I've got two kids at home, they need food, but this is all I have.” 

The cashier sighed, “I'm sorry, ma'am, but there isn't anything I can do. Move along.”

“Wait,” Viktor interrupted, keeping his calm facade while flashing the cashier a small smile, “How much?” 

Both the man behind the counter and the sickly woman in front of Viktor gave him a confused glance.

“Sir -”

“How much? I'll pay for her.”

The woman coughed, “Sir, you don't have to do that.”

“I want too.” When the man made no move to tell him, Viktor just gave a short sigh, pulling out a forkful of rubles, “This enough? Keep the change.” 

The cashier gave him a wide eyed look, and Viktor merely winked. The rubles he had pulled out was more than enough for both his and the woman's groceries, and they both knew it. 

The woman smiled in wonder at him.

“Oh thank you, sir.” 

“Really, it was no problem.” 

“You must come over for lunch.” 

“Oh no, I have to get home…” 

The woman wasn’t convinced, “I insist. It’s the only way I can pay you for your kindness.” 

With that, Viktor felt resigned to his fate, “Alright, Miss…”

“Alisa. Alisa Volklova.” Alisa offered a hand, her pale blue eyes twinkling despite the rather obvious pain hiding behind them.

Viktor took her offered hand, “Viktor Katsuki-Nikivorov.”

Her eyes widened, “I thought I recognized you! My son’s a big fan of yours.”

“Really?” Viktor forced a smile, “How cute.”

“He’s at home - you wouldn’t mind…”

The rest of her question went unsaid, but he knew what she wanted to ask, “Sure.”

Alisa’s eyes sparkled again, and she took off, her bumbling cheerfulness similar to the way Viktor had acted before the accident. Normally, this would’ve annoyed the Russian, but he didn’t really mind it, all things considering. Alisa looked ill and malnourished, and, briefly, he wondered if her two children were suffering the same fate. 

If so, he would do his best to help her. He couldn’t help his soft heart, and he knew that Yuuri would agree. 

Speaking of Yuuri…”

As they walked, Viktor dialed his husband’s number, shooting Alisa an apologetic look, which the elder woman pushed off with a flick of her wrist.

“Viktor?”

“Hey Yuuri,” He paused, “I won’t be home for a bit.”

“Did something happen?” 

VIktor winced. Even now, after five years, Yuuri’s anxiety towards another attack was prevalent. It saddened him, really, but there was nothing he could do, considering his own frequent nightmares. 

“No, nothing bad. I helped someone at the grocery store, and she invited me over to lunch.”

“Oh, alright. Text me when you leave.”

“I will, lyubov moya. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Yuuri hung up, then, and Viktor felt a bit better about not going straight home, as he had done for the past five years. 

“Here we are.” Alisa announced, and Viktor blinked, realizing she had probably been talking the entire time.

“Woah.”

The house was small, with walls made of wood that looked like rotting flesh, the black paint peeling off to reveal green-tinted brown. The porch seemed to be falling apart at the seams, with only a rickety rocking chair and flowerpot giving it any character. The windows were covered by dusty curtains, and the door was battered. 

Nevertheless, Viktor didn’t comment. He felt it would be very rude, and Alisa didn’t say anything either. She just stepped onto the porch, groceries in hand, and pushed the evidently unlocked door open.

“Alexei!”

Immediately, a small boy ran out, taking a bag of groceries from Alisa, “Hello, Mama..” He said in Russian, not noticing Viktor behind her. 

“Alexei, look who I brought.” Alisa snuck a grin at Viktor, and Viktor understood, stepping forward and bending down to look at the boy.

Alexei’s eyes widened, “Y-you’re Viktor Nikiforov!” 

His eyes. 

Bright green blue eyes that were painfully familiar. 

Viktor swallowed.

“Why yes, yes I am. What’s your name?”

Alexei puffed out his chest, “I’m Alexei Volklov, and I’m going to become a world champion one day, just like you!” Then, his eyes widened even more, if that was possible, “Wait, is Katsuki Yuuri with you?”

Viktor chuckled, “Not with me, but I could bring him over one day.” 

“Really?!” The child looked awestruck, beaming at him.

Viktor was drawn back to his 22 year old self, when wide green-blue eyes, so similar to Alexei’s, had gazed up at him with that same look of awe. When the dark brown hair that Alexei possessed was blonde, and the four years were replaced by ten.

He shook off the memory. 

“Really.” He offered the young child a smile.

Alexei released a squeal and he looked over to Alisa with wide green-blue eyes, “Mama, Mama, did you hear? Mr. Nikiforov could bring Mr. Katsuki over! Can they come over? Can they? Can they?” 

Alisa chuckled, ruffling the boy’s dark brown hair, “If he wants to, kotyonok.”

Kotyonok.

Kitten.

Viktor took a deep breath.

Why can’t I get over that? 

He knew why, of course, but he didn’t want to admit it out loud. 

“Mr. Nikiforov?” Alisa asked, and Viktor realized that she had been trying to get his attention. 

“Ah, please, call me Viktor.” 

“Well, Viktor, I’m going to start lunch. Please, make yourself at home.” And then, she was off to the small kitchen, humming slightly while coughing every now and then.

Viktor settled down on the couch, followed by the rather energetic four-year old.

“Why did you stop figure skating?” 

He swallowed, “There was an accident.” 

Alexei wasn’t deterred, “What happened?”

 

Viktor wouldn’t let himself get lost in the memory of that awful night. Instead of telling Alexei the details, he just ruffled the boy’s hair, much like Alisa had done earlier, and smiled, “I’ll tell you when you’re a bit older.”

Alexei pouted, “But… but…” When Viktor didn’t comply to Alexei’s pouting, he gave up, choosing to instead plop down on the couch next to him, his eyes still comically wide, as if he still couldn’t believe that he was here, with Viktor Nikiforov.

And Viktor didn’t have the heart to correct him about his last name. After all, he and Yuuri were married now. 

“What are you doing now?”

This was one smart four year old. 

“Well, I coach little boys and girls, like you.” Viktor poked his nose playfully, and Alexei giggled, scooching closer to Viktor slightly, hesitantly, as if he thought Viktor was going to yell at him for moving. 

“Really?” The child peered up at him, “Mama’s too poor to get me lessons.”

Viktor’s heart clenched. Curse him and his weak resolve, “You know what, Alexei?”

 

“What?”

“Would you like to take lessons with me?”

“Wah?” Alexei gaped at him, eyes widening again as his mouth dropped open.

“Really?!”

 

“If your mother says yes, I’ll gladly take you, free of charge.” Viktor smiled down at the child.

For a second, Alexei didn’t move, glancing up at Viktor before jumping off the couch, dashing into the kitchen, “Mama, mama! Viktor offered to coach me! Can he, can he, please?!”

Viktor heard shuffling in the kitchen, than Alisa poked her head out, eyes looking startlingly weary, “What’s this I hear of coaching?”

 

Viktor swallowed again, giving the woman a smile, “Your son seemed very eager to skate. I offered to coach him, free of charge.”

“You’ve already done us a kindness. Why…” She seemed to struggle for the words.

He stood, gazing down at Alexei, who was peering at him from behind Alisa, “Your son reminds me of someone I lost. I know that’s a poor reason, but I want to help him.” 

“I understand.” Alisa, despite looking weary and tired, gave him a sympathetic smile, “If you don’t mind me asking, who was it?”

 

Viktor laughed dryly, “The funny thing is, we weren’t even related, but it felt like it. He… he was like a son to me.” 

“That must’ve been hard.” Alisa gained a distant look in her eyes, “When my husband left us, I was devastated, but at least I had Alexei, and his sister, Karina.” 

“Where is Karina?”

“In school. It’s the least I can do for her.”

“That’s good.” 

Alisa glanced behind her, “Lunch is ready, by the way, Viktor.”

Viktor followed her into the kitchen, where Alexei had already sat down at the table, swinging his legs in a carefree manner. Viktor took a seat next to him, seeing the way his eyes lit up. He was too adorable.

Alisa served a simple meal of piroshki(Viktor shook off the nostalgic feeling he had) and, although Alexei dug right in, Viktor hesitated.

“Itadakimasu.” He murmured.

“What was that?” Alisa asked, gazing at him with soft eyes.

“It’s a Japanese thing. I picked it up from Yuuri. Let’s eat.”

Not that he really had to say that, as Alexei was already digging into the piroshki Alisa had set before him, causing the elder woman to chuckle fondly. 

After the meal was finished(the piroshki were rather good, Viktor would admit), he checked his phone, gaping at the time displayed.

“I better go, Yuuri will be expecting me. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“It was nothing, dear. You’re welcome anytime.” Alisa’s gaze was warm.

“And about those lessons-”

“If you were serious about providing them, I don’t see a problem with it. Alexei loves you. Isn’t that right, Alexei?”

The boy nodded eagerly, dashing over to hug Viktor’s legs awkwardly, “Goodbye Viktor! Come back to see me one day! I can’t wait to start lessons and meet Yuuri!” 

Viktor leaned down to give the child a real hug, stroking his hair fondly before standing up to give Alisa a hug as well. 

“Dasvidanya.”

“Dasvidanya.”

Viktor grabbed his all-but-forgotten groceries and waved to the small family before stepping out of the house, one-handedly texting Yuuri that he would be home soon.

What a day that had been. 

Viktor lost track of how long it took to trek to his and Yuuri’s shared house, too busy caught up in his thoughts. Thoughts about Alexei, and his eerily familiar eyes. Thoughts about that day, oh so long ago, yet so impacting. Thoughts of his adorable Yuuri. 

Within minutes it felt like, he was approaching their house, gripping the grocery bag tightly. 

Yuuri greeted him at the door, Makkachin barking at his heels, “Viktor.”

“Yuuri.” He leaned in to lightly kiss his husband in greeting before offering the bag of groceries, “Sorry I took so long.”

The Japanese man chuckled, although the laugh seemed forced, “It’s fine, although you better tell me how it went.”

“How it went. Right.” 

Once they were both settled, groceries put in their respective places, Viktor decided that he needed to share his thoughts, “Yuuri, do you believe in reincarnation?”

The brunette raised an eyebrow, “That was random.”

“Well, do you?”

“...Not really. I mean, I think it could happen, but not all the time. Why do you ask?”

Viktor gave a dramatic sigh, “After I lent a hand to a lovely woman named Alisa, she offered to cook lunch for me, and it would’ve been rude to refuse, so I went to her home. She has two children, a daughter that was in school, and a four-year old boy named Alexei. Alexei was the cutest thing ever, with his passion for skating and his ruffled brown hair, and a pair of green blue eyes that were very, very familiar.” 

At the last part of the sentence, Yuuri frowned, glancing up to meet Viktor’s gaze, “Lots of people have green and blue eyes.” 

“But they were so familiar, Yuuri. I’ll take you to meet him soon - I promised him he’d get a chance to meet you, he’s really excited. There were differences, yes, but he reminded me of him in so many ways…” 

“You think this Alexei is our Yuri… reincarnated.”

“Yes!”

“...Why?” Yuuri’s voice came out as a mere whisper, and he rubbed at his eyes. 

Viktor allowed his enthusiasm to fade, seeing how deeply this discussion was affecting his poor Yuuri, “It’s just that… he shouldn’t have died.”

“Nobody should have to die that way, Viktor.” 

“Still. He was meant to do great things, he would’ve easily surpassed me, but he didn’t, and I honestly think that Alexei will become the next… him.” 

Yuuri seemed to think about that, his chocolate eyes gaining that far-away emotional look they did when he was thinking. For a few minutes, they sat in silence.

“Take me to meet him. Then I’ll see whether I believe you or not,” Yuuri finally said, his eyes meeting Viktor’s.

Viktor gave his husband a smile, “Okay. Oh!” He paused, remembering, “I offered to coach Alexei, too. For free. I know, I know,” He defended himself before Yuuri could tell him what a terrible idea that was, “We have all the money we need, and Alexei’s family is poor, plus I think Alisa is sick with something. Offering to coach Alexei was one of the few kindnesses I could do. He was excited, anyways.”

Yuuri sighed with an exasperated tone, shaking his head, “I can’t stop you, can I?”

“Nope!” Viktor chirped. 

Yuuri didn’t reply for several minutes after that, lost in thought once more,”If you think it’ll be worth it, Vitya…”

Viktor gently kissed the top of Yuuri’s head, “It will.” He promised, even though he had never even seen Alexei skate. 

The brunette smiled at him softly, “Okay.”

The two spent the rest of the evening cuddling together, Viktor carefully kissing away the traces of the panic attack Yuuri obviously had had while Viktor was gone.


	2. Karina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Viktor takes Yuuri to meet Alisa and Alexei, but gets a bit more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! I haven't had internet lately. Luckily, chapters 3 and 4 are already written, so I'll probably publish chapter three later today! Enjoy!

The next day, around lunch time after Viktor finished with the younger kids, he practically dragged Yuuri back to the mold-covered house, pulling the younger along with him in his excitement and eagerness.

 

In his own forgetful nature, though, he forgot that it was actually Saturday, as his classes only stopped on Sundays, which meant that Alisa’s older child would be home. 

 

“Knock knock!” He exclaimed cheerfully as he knocked on the door.

 

Sure enough, Alisa opened it, a soft smile on her face.

 

“Viktor, what a pleasant surprise. And this must be Yuuri?”

 

“Yes ma’am.” Yuuri bowed respectfully, a habit of his Japanese culture, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 

Alisa swooned, her blue eyes sparkling, “How respectful? Come in, do come in! Alexei will be happy to see you.” She stepped away, holding the door open for the two skaters.

 

Almost immediately after Viktor walked in, followed by Yuuri, footsteps echoed throughout the tiny home, and Alexei darted into the living room, his eyes widening as soon as he made eye contact with Viktor. 

 

“Viktor!” He squealed, happily rushing forward to give Viktor a hug, “You came back!”

 

Viktor chuckled as he leaned down to return the hug, “Of course I did.”

 

Alexei beamed at him before glancing back, eyes widening again as he spotted Yuuri, “Is that Yuuri?”

 

“Hello.” Yuuri offered the child a warm smile, bending down to get at eye-level. 

 

Alexei gaped, his mouth dropping, and Viktor watched the slightest hint of pain flicker in Yuuri’s eyes before he offered his arms, “Viktor spoke pretty fondly of you yesterday. He practically dragged me here. It’s wonderful to meet you.” 

 

With wide eyes, Alexei allowed Yuuri to hug him, his mouth still gaping open, as if he couldn’t believe that his idols were both in his house and interacting with him.

 

Viktor watched the two, smiling softly. 

 

“Mama? Who are they?” A voice asked from beyond the hallway leading to the bedrooms, and a girl stepped out of the shadows. Dirty blonde hair framed a youthful face, and grassy green eyes peered at him with confusion and another emotion Viktor couldn’t pick up on. 

 

“This is Viktor and Yuuri. They are going to teach Alexei how to skate.” Alisa glanced at Viktor as if to confirm that her statement were true. Viktor offered a nod in return.

 

“Viktor, Yuuri, this is my daughter, Karina.” 

 

Yuuri, charming as ever, gave Karina a bright, warm smile, “Hello, Karina. You have a lovely name.” 

 

Karina stared of him with almost dull eyes, her expression blank, “...thanks.”

 

Compared to Alexei’s unbounding cheerfulness, her stoic exterior was chilling, unnervingly so. 

 

Karina held Yuuri’s gaze for several seconds before looking up at her mother, “Did you take your medicine today?”

 

“Yes, yes, I did,” Alisa sighed, her cheerful exterior dropping slightly to reveal the sickness that she clearly had. 

 

Viktor frowned at her, then looked back over at Yuuri. He and Alexei were talking quietly, Alexei chittering happily while Yuuri kept his gaze on his eyes. Viktor smiled fondly, before turning his attention to the older of the two children. Karina hadn’t moved from her spot, her gaze icy. 

 

He swallowed, and he stepped towards her, offering a hand.

 

“Hello Karina. It’s nice to meet you.” 

 

Karina eyed him warily before taking a hand, “It’s nice to meet you too.” She murmured, although her tone was as icy as her eyes. 

 

Viktor faltered. She sounded dismissive and distrusting, very similar to how Yuri had acted when he was young. Well, younger. 

 

Karina seemed to sense his sorrow, and her brow furrowed, “You don’t sound so happy.”

 

“Hmm?” Viktor hummed thoughtfully, pulling himself out of his thoughts, “Oh, you just remind me of someone.”

 

The girl didn’t seem convinced, but she dropped it, glancing over at Alexei. 

 

“How old are you, Karina?” He asked, to change the subject.

 

“Eleven.”

 

“That’s a fun age.”

 

“Huh.”

 

Wow, she was extremely hard to talk to. Viktor nearly dropped the fake smile he had plastered on his face, and he did when she spoke next.

 

“You don’t have to fake anything for me. I’m not like my brother - you don’t have to pretend to like me.”

 

“What makes you think I’m faking?”

 

“It’s what you do, isn’t it?”

 

Viktor frowned, then, his eyes going stern, “What do you mean, Karina?”

 

The girl met his gaze with mature eyes, much too mature, “Mother is dying, you probably know that. I get helping her, I get playing pretend with Alexei to keep his spirits up, but you don’t have to do that with me.”

 

“You think I’m pretending to like him?” Viktor asked, his voice coming out a mere whisper, staring down the younger child with wide eyes.

 

“Why else would you be here, entertaining him?” 

 

“He reminds me of someone I lost.”

 

“So he’s a replacement.”

“No!” Viktor was struggling for words, which was unusual, for him, “He’s adorable and eager, and he wants to learn to skate, so I want to teach him.”

 

Karina didn’t seem convinced, and she gazed into his eyes, her own deadly cold, “You have nothing to gain by befriending my brother. Do yourself a favor, and stay away.” With that, she turned heel, storming off down the darkened hallway.

 

For a minute or two, Viktor was left staring at where she had been, lost in his ever-consuming thoughts, before he felt a cold hand touch his shoulder. He jumped, head snapping around to meet Alisa’s gaze. Alisa’s eyes were much warmer than her daughter’s. 

 

“Are you alright, Viktor?” Her voice was much weaker than Viktor remembered. 

 

“Da, I’m fine.” He turned towards the woman, offering a small smile, “Just getting to know Karina.” 

 

“She’s an odd one, isn’t she.” It was a statement, not a question. 

 

Viktor merely shrugged, not knowing how he should answer. Wordlessly, instead, he glanced over at Yuuri and Alexei, who were still talking on the couch, Alexei with sparkling eyes, Yuuri with a warm smile. The sight of the two made Viktor smile softly. Yuuri rarely smiled genuinely nowadays, and almost never at anybody other than Viktor himself. 

 

As if sensing his thoughts, Alisa spoke again, “Yuuri seems to be such a doll. He and Alexei are getting along so well… It really makes me happy.”

 

“Me too.” 

 

After a couple more minutes of awkward silence between the two, Alisa walked over to Alexei, telling him it was time to start making lunch, and that Viktor and Yuuri had to leave. It was true, as the time was nearing one, and Viktor had a class to get back to, but the truth didn’t make Alexei pout any less. Nevertheless, he eagerly hugged both of them, waving as they left the home.

 

The walk back to the rink was deafeningly quiet, unusually so. It was as if Yuuri didn’t want to admit that Viktor was right about Alexei, and Viktor himself wasn’t about to push his husband for an answer.

 

Finally, right as they were arriving at the rink, Yuuri spoke up, “I can see why you want to coach him, now.”

 

He didn’t need to elaborate on who he was speaking about. Viktor gave the man a small smile, “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. You… you were right. And his eyes were familiar.”

 

Viktor merely nodded, not trusting himself to speak, not even when a loud noise, similar to that of a gunshot, rippled through the air, causing them both to flinch. Not even when they arrived at the rink, Yuuri eyeing the door warily. 

 

Viktor knew that the previous words and the silence now meant that Yuuri was giving his approval for the coaching of Alexei, and he was glad. Maybe, he’d be able to turn the small child into a legend.

  
Maybe, he would finally do Yuri right. 


	3. Shatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which tragedy strikes and we gain some more information on the accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say I'd update later today! It's compensation because I highly doubt the next chapter will be out for several weeks. It's written, but I won't have internet for much longer. 
> 
> That being said, I feel like my chapter summaries are ridiculously vague. Does anybody want me to change them? I'll do it if enough want me too. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The next few days went by mostly uneventful. Alisa had given Viktor her phone number, and Alexei started taking beginning skating lessons, learning how to skate, as he never had before. What the boy lacked in experience, he made up for in enthusiasm, and he definitely had the talent to make it big in the skating world. 

 

It was the fifth day since his and Yuuri’s visit that changed everything.

 

How it started? Simple. Alexei didn’t show up for their training. By then, while Viktor wouldn’t claim to know the kid completely and utterly, he did have a somewhat reasonable understanding of the child - enough to know that he wouldn’t miss practice on a whim. Something was wrong.

 

Something was very wrong.

 

He could  _ feel  _ it.

 

During his noon break, Viktor whipped out his phone. Maybe it was irrational for him to be thinking the worst of the situation, but, after the accident years ago, he had grown - well, cautious. 

 

The first time he dialed the number, the phone rang, rang, and rang, but went to voicemail after thirty seconds. 

 

The second time, after several seconds, it picked up, and Viktor sighed in relief, “Alisa?”

 

“Viktor?”

 

That wasn’t Alisa.

 

“Alexei?”

 

“Viktor!” Alexei sounded almost… relieved, his voice shaky. 

 

Viktor pressed the phone tighter against his ear, furrowing his brow, “Kotenok, where’s your mother at?” He asked, the nickname slipping out of him. 

 

“She, she’s…” Alexei’s voice, tinny through the phone speakers, wobbled, his tone much too sad for such a young child. It caused a pit to form at the bottom of Viktor’s stomach, his mouth twisting into a worried frown.

 

“Alexei, talk to me.”

 

“S-she had an accident. I… I dunno what happened, s-she just fell down a-a-and Karina called the doctors, a-and…” Alexei was stuttering, his voice trembling even more so than before, and Viktor cursed silently.

 

“Okay, where are you?”

 

“W-where they took Mama.”

 

“Is Karina there with you?”

 

“Mm hm.”

 

“Let me speak to her.” 

 

A couple seconds of silence passed, the only sound being the small breaths Viktor forced himself to take. Then, finally, a soft, female voice came through.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Karina,” Viktor couldn’t help the soft sigh of relief, “What happened?” 

 

Karina was silent for awhile. Viktor had a feeling it was due to the obvious distaste she had for him, coupled by her own worry for whatever had happened. 

 

“Mama had a heart attack,” The girl finally said, sounding reluctant, and not nearly as upset as Alexei had sounded. 

 

Worry for Alisa’s health filled VIktor’s chest, and he forced himself to breathe, “Are you and Alexei at the hospital?”

 

“Mm. Yeah.”

 

“I’m coming to get you.” He couldn’t let the two kids stay at the hospital alone, and he was sure Yuuri would agree.

 

“Why?” Karina sounded doubtful, distrusting. 

 

“I’m not letting you two stay there alone. Until Alisa is better, you can stay with Yuuri and I. We…” He forces himself not to choke on the words, steadying his breathing, “We have a spare bedroom.” A room that used to belong to someone else, but that didn’t matter anymore, because he was gone, gone gone. The room had gone mostly untouched. 

 

“Huh…”

 

“Please, Karina.” 

 

“...Fine.” 

 

A little part of the dark pit in his stomach receded, and Viktor felt a bit better, “Alright. We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

 

There was no other answer, just the monotone ring of the phone hanging up, and he leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. 

 

It was only then that he noticed a shadow, standing across from him, then directly in front of him, a feathery light hand brushing his cheek, “Viktor? What’s wrong?”

 

Viktor caught Yuuri’s hand, offering a small smile, “I’ll tell you on the way. For now, we need to go. Come on.”

 

Thankfully, Yuuri didn’t question him - just followed him to the car faithfully, although his eyebrows were knitted with concern, lips twisted in worry. 

 

It was only after Viktor had started the car and they were on the road that Yuuri spoke up, his arms folded over his lap, “So… Who was on the phone?”

 

He bit his lip, “It was Karina. Alisa had a heart attack, they’re at the hospital.”

 

Viktor barely caught the sharp intake of breath, Yuuri seeming to fold in on himself even more.

 

“...Are the kids okay?” 

 

“They’re fine, just shaken,” Viktor hesitated before continuing, “I… actually offered to take them in, while Alisa recovers.”

 

“Viktor…”

 

He didn’t need to look at Yuuri to know he was frowning, “Think about it, Yuuri. Two kids, both so young… they can’t stay at a hospital alone.”

 

“Where would they stay?” The Japanese man argued, “Vitya… I don’t mean this in a harmful way, but we don’t have any room for kids.”

 

“...”

 

“No. No, Viktor, no.” Yuuri’s voice trembled, and when Viktor glanced over, he saw there were tears pooling in his eyes.

 

“I can’t leave them alone,” He murmured, keeping one hand on the steering wheel while reaching over to lightly brush Yuuri’s cheek, “I know… it’s hard, I know. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think it were necessary.”

 

Silence reigned for several minutes, just enough time to reach the hospital parking lot. Viktor put the car in park and turned the ignition, looking over at his husband again. Yuuri, poor, poor Yuuri, who had actually been there when their world changed, was still hunched over, tears slipping silently down his cheeks. 

 

_ “Next to take the ice, the youngest Grand Prix Final winner in history, Yuri Plisetsky!” _

 

_ Yuri, already on the ice, skated a short lap before stopping in the center, body slipping into his opening position.  _

 

_ The music started.  _

 

**_Bang._ **

 

Viktor slipped out of the car, then rushed over to the passenger side, opening the door quickly. He unbuckled Yuuri’s seatbelt(which he was hardly wearing anyways) and pulled the man into a hug, stroking his back soothingly. 

 

In the several years since he and Yuuri had gotten married, he had learned exactly what calmed his husband down - especially when it came to the sensitive subject of the accident. 

 

“Shh… zvezdochka*… I know, I know,” Viktor soothed, allowing Yuuri to sob quietly into his shirt. 

 

They stayed like that for several minutes, enjoying each other’s embrace, and they probably would’ve stayed together longer, except for a slight cough drawing Viktor from his thoughts.

 

He turned his head, still tracing his fingers down Yuuri’s back, to see Karina and Alexei, holding hands.

 

“Zvezdochka,” Viktor murmured softly, “The kids are here.”

 

Yuuri sniffed, and he pulled back, rubbing at his eyes, “S-sorry…”

 

“Don’t apologize, lyubov moya**,” He lightly kissed Yuuri’s head before pulling away, offering a smile to the two children staring up at them.

 

Alexei’s eyes were puffy and red, and Karina’s were similar. However, Alexei still seemed to be crying, while Karina regarded them with cold detachment.

 

“Thank you for coming, you two.” 

 

Alexei sniffled, glancing at the ground with watery turquoise eyes. 

 

Viktor opened the other car door, letting Karina in, “We don’t have a carseat - does Alexei need one?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“He’ll just have to sit up front with Yuuri, then.”

 

“Hmph.” Karina didn’t protest, just climbed into the car, buckling her seatbelt and staring at the seat in front of her. 

 

Yuuri, calmed down by now, pulled Alexei up into the seat, setting the child in his lap. Yuuri’s eyes were still moist, but he didn’t seem in danger of having another anxiety episode, stroking Alexei’s hair softly.

 

With everyone settled, Viktor climbed back in the driver’s seat, starting the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *zvezdochka - Russian for star, or little star.
> 
> ** lyubov moya - Russian for 'my love' 
> 
> Feel free to correct my Russian! I only speak English and some Spanish, unfortunately XD 
> 
> Also, please, comment if you liked the chapter! I know, most authors say this, but it really helps to know that people actually read and enjoy my story!


	4. Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Viktor faces the past.

“Well, home sweet home!” 

 

Sometimes, Viktor wondered if maybe he was trying too hard to be cheerful.

 

Alexei had managed to fall asleep on the ride - Yuuri was carrying him currently - and Karina hadn’t spoken a single word, her gaze as steely as always. 

 

Despite the lack of response to his words, Viktor kept the smile on his face, opening the door to their rather small home. With just two bedrooms and two bathrooms, it was just right for the two of them - although not so much for anybody else that they may live with(such as kids, or, who knows, an angsty teenager). 

 

Almost immediately, Yuuri sat down on the couch, cradling little Alexei in his arms, while Karina stood to the side, her arms crossed. 

 

“Make yourself at home, Karina. I’ll clean out the extra bedroom for you.” Viktor told her, purposely not looking at Yuuri so he wouldn’t see the distressed look on his husband’s face. 

 

She merely shrugged, and sat down on the couch, curling her knees into her chest. 

 

Once Viktor was sure they would be alright, he walked down the hallway, taking a deep breath before opening the first door on the right. 

 

The room was just as it had been left, all those years ago. The bed was decorated with dark grey blankets, the pillows encased with tiger-printed cloth. The walls were startlingly bare - of course,  _ he  _ had only lived in this room for several weeks before they had traveled out to China for the Cup of China event. 

 

However, one of the wall closest to the bed was decorated with tacks holding a grand total of six medals - two gold and four silver. While three of the medals represented the qualifying events, two represented European Championships and Worlds, one of the gold medals was slightly bigger than the others, fancier and brighter and the sight of it almost brought Viktor to tears. 

 

He stepped forward, taking the steps necessary to reach the medals hanging on the wall, and he grasped the gold, glancing at it with pursed lips.

 

“Yura…” He whispered, his voice shaky, “Oh Yura…”

 

_ China had been having terrorist problems for awhile, but everything seemed to have stopped by the time they landed for the Cup of China event.  _

 

_ Viktor should’ve known better. _

 

_ Right at the beginning of Yuri’s performance, the doors slammed open, and several figures ran into the stadium, each masked and bearing a gun.  _

 

_ For a few seconds, when people started shrieking, Viktor thought the police would be there soon, that the attack would go without casualties.  _

 

_ He was wrong.  _

 

_ A single gunshot rang through the rink. _

 

_ And, of course, if a terrorist wanted to get the crowd riled up, who better to attack then the person performing? _

 

_ Viktor let out a screech as Yuri, who had only just started his program, toppled to the ground, his costume beginning to stain red.  _

 

_ Of course, Viktor wasn’t wearing skates. He could try to run out to him, but he knew from experience that he were more likely to injure himself if he tried. _

 

_ However, Yuuri was wearing skates. He was to go after Yuri, after all. _

 

_ Yuuri, without needing to be told, leapt onto the ice, his skate guards abandoned as he madly skated out to where Yuri had fallen.  _

 

_ It took several seconds for Viktor to regain his wits, and he whipped out his phone, dialing the emergency number. _

 

_ “Please, there’s a terrorist at the rink! One of the skaters has been shot, we need an ambulance!” He barked in accented English, panic starting to overtake him.  _

 

_ As soon as the operator hung up, Viktor glanced out to the ice, wanting nothing more than to join the two - instead, he ducked down, sending a silent prayer for Yuri’s health.  _

 

_ Finally, after what felt like ages, the police showed up. Luckily, nobody else was mortally injured, and the terrorists, who had been threatening the audience, were taken into captivity. Following the police had been an ambulance, and Viktor stood back up, braving his chances on the ice to walk over to where Yuuri was holding Yuri, tears streaming down his cheeks. _

 

_ “Yuuri, the ambulance is here!”  _

 

_ Yuuri looked up at him with watery eyes, wide with horror, “No… it’s too late… Vitya, it’s too late…” _

 

_ “No…” Viktor breathed, reaching where Yuuri and Yuri were, bending down. Sure enough, Yuri’s eyes were closed, his skin pale. His chest wasn’t moving.  _

 

_ Tears began rapidly falling down Viktor’s cheeks. _

 

_ “No!”  _

 

Wetness on his hand snapped Viktor out of the flashback - he didn’t realize he had started crying. He rubbed at his eyes, now aware that he was trembling with memories. 

 

“I’m sorry, Yura,” He murmured, caressing the medal fondly, “It’s been five years, yet Yuuri and I still haven’t gotten over your death.”

 

He laughed bitterly, letting the medal drop, “But we have to move on. I… I don’t want to forget you, and that’s not what I’m saying, but… Yura, there’s these two kids. Their mom is in the hospital, and…” He tried not to choke up, “And the youngest reminds me of you. I have to take care of them. I’m sorry.”

 

Viktor laughed again. Here he was, standing in a dust-covered room that had gone untouched for five years, talking to someone who had been dead and gone for just as long. 

 

However, it was something he had to take care of. Somehow, talking to Yuri had given him a sense of security, as if Yuri had given him permission to give the room to the two kids in the living room. 

 

With that in mind, he got to work. The blankets and pillows could stay - he’d feel bad for removing them - but the room, however blank it was, was covered in dust. That was what he had to clean.

 

It took about an hour, but he managed to dust off the entirety of the furniture, gathering up all the clothes hanging forgotten in the closet(with damp eyes) and placing them in white trash bags. Not that they were trash of course. Viktor wasn’t sure he would ever have the heart to throw out Yuri’s old clothes. 

 

_ Maybe they’d fit Karina. _

 

_...No. _

 

Shaking off the thoughts, Viktor wiped his hands clean, taking a deep breath before sticking his head out the door, “Karina! Alexei! Come look!”

 

Several seconds later, as Viktor inspected his handiwork one last time, footsteps echoed down the hall, and Karina stepped in, followed by Yuuri, who was carrying Alexei. 

 

“It’s very plain,” The girl remarked, walking around the room to sit on the bed, “Isn’t this the guest bedroom?”

 

Viktor glanced over at Yuuri, who was also looking around the room, his eyes soft, “Actually, it belonged to someone, once. He… he doesn’t come around anymore, though. I just cleaned it up a bit.”

 

Surprisingly, it was Alexei who brought Yuuri to tears again, not Karina. He had hopped down from Yuuri’s hold, inspecting the room, before he found the one thing Viktor barely had the courage to touch - the medals. 

 

“Ooh, these are so pretty! Are they yours, Yuuri?” The child asked, sounding much more chipper than he had mere hours ago.

 

Viktor heard Yuuri’s breath hitch, and he shook his head, “No, they’re not mine.”

 

Alexei didn’t bother to ask Viktor - he just took one of the medals(which happened to be from Barcelona) and squinted at it, “Where’s this one from?”   
  


When Yuuri didn’t answer, Karina scooted forward on the bed, laying down on her stomach to glance over at the medal Alexei was holding, “It says Barcelona. Isn’t that in Spain?”

 

“Mm hm.”

 

“Whose medal is this?” Alexei asked, looking down at it with wide eyes.

 

It was then that Viktor intervened, “How about I show you?” He asked the kid, digging in his back pocket for his phone, “Yuuri, could you make lunch?” 

 

Yuuri, with moist eyes he rubbed at, nodded, ducking out of the room. 

 

Once Viktor was sure Yuuri was out of earshot, he went to YouTube on his phone, typing in Yuri’s name with shaky hands.

 

“Viktor?” 

 

He paused, looking up at Alexei, who had traversed from the medals to in front of the door where Viktor was standing, eyes wide and innocent, “You look sad.”

 

Viktor merely offered a smile, “Nevermind that. Come on, let’s sit on the bed. Will you join us, Karina?”   
  


Karina shrugged, but she scooted over from her position on the bed, allowing Viktor and Alexei room. 

 

Viktor propped himself up on the bed, holding his phone with his left hand as he gestured for Alexei to come with his right. Almost immediately, the boy ran over, curling into Viktor’s side without hesitation. 

 

When Viktor held his phone out, the video he wanted already on the screen, he felt a warmth on his left shoulder. 

 

Karina. 

 

With a smile, Viktor pressed play, the familiar tune sounding as Yuri, onscreen, started to skate.

 

In Regards to Love: Agape.

 

Viktor hadn’t watched one of Yuri’s programs in years. After the attack, he never had the heart to go and rewatch one of them - it had been too painful, still was too painful. But, somehow, watching the familiar routine with two kids next to him, in Yuri’s own room, made things feel just a little bit better.

  
Maybe, just maybe, after five years, he was finally starting to get over Yuri’s untimely death. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... wasn't that just lovely? Haha... 
> 
> Seriously, though, are my chapter summaries too vague? Please tell me! 
> 
> Let me know you enjoyed this mess of a chapter with a kudos and a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want the next chapter with kudos and a comment!


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